Who Gets the Best of You?

Last night, my wife and I took the kids to National Harbor, to see intricate ice sculptures depicting the Rudolph story from the classic stop-motion animated movie. It was part of the Christmas Village at the Gaylord National hotel, which also included a scavenger hunt, music and light show, and Cirque du Soleil show. 

The outing also included a lot of people. Like amusement park amounts of people. Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras levels of crowded. Starting with the traffic on I-495, which caused us to be late in getting there for our scheduled ticket time. I knew that ultimately they would let us in even if we were late, but such realizations never fully alleviate the chronic anxiety I feel about timeliness. All this is to say that I was not in a festive mood when we finally arrived.

I wish I could say this was uncommon for family outings. But if I’m being truthful with myself, as much as I want to get out and experience things with the kids, the reality of herding all of them into the minivan, negotiating traffic and parking, and managing the dynamics of four kids with very different ideas of enjoyable activities, doesn’t always match up with my expectations. Or I should say my attitude doesn’t match up.

Lately I’ve been focusing on a mantra that I wish I had practiced more when I was on active duty: “Make sure your family gets the best of you.” Too often I would come home from work (or a long deployment) absolutely exhausted, with little energy or focus remaining to do more than go through the motions of dinner and bedtime routines. I was not present in any meaningful way, and prone to terse responses when my wife and children wanted to engage with me. I was giving work my all: all my energy, my devotion, my humor, and my limited amounts of extroversion, with nothing leftover for the ones who loved me the most. (This was compounded by working on a master’s degree in my free time for the past few years)

So last night I recognized that I had a choice. I could let the traffic and the crowds affect the rest of my evening, or I could try to go with the flow, and give my family the best of me. I won’t say that was 100% successful. I was still impatient at times. But I also gave in to the moment and enjoyed my kids’ enjoyment. Tried to give my all and leave nothing on the field. Made sure they experienced the best of me.

Who is getting the best of you this holiday season?